The first horseman of the Apocalypse will come in the form of a snot-nosed, coughing three-year-old.

— J.M. Dodd (@jmdodd) December 1, 2009

Why is it always the purple crayons that go through the dryer? Why can't it ever be yellow, or pink, or something less obnoxious?

— J.M. Dodd (@jmdodd) December 3, 2009

The Nutcracker is like a black hole; once you've crossed the event horizon, there's no turning back.

— J.M. Dodd (@jmdodd) December 6, 2009